I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help