ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
