Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
