His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
