? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
