I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
