Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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