I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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