i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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