dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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