I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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