I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
