Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
