I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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