He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
