I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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