Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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