we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
