carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize