Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
