I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
