i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
