VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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