I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He did a backflip because drugs
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
