the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize