CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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