i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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