I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??