Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
