Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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(404): View more from Georgia

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

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(818): View more from California

I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head

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(323): View more from California

Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.

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(707): View more from California

I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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(512): View more from Texas

You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.

(314): View more from Missouri

Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.

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