I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.