Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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