Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
