I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
