my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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