Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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