Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.

(970): View more from Colorado

I'm that good.

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(720): Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time. (970): I'm that good. http://tfl.nu/qp5j

Replies (5) Good night (4301) Bad night (665)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it

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(905): I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it http://tfl.nu/jng0

Replies (32) Good night (4480) Bad night (2040)
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(786): View more from Florida

I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.

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(786): I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me. http://tfl.nu/ua0x

Replies (12) Good night (4655) Bad night (1301)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

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(720): I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january http://tfl.nu/n365

Replies (18) Good night (6456) Bad night (1161)
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(815): View more from Illinois

i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

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(815): i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since. (1-815): you need to get laid.. and an oil change. http://tfl.nu/z8d3

Replies (18) Good night (1843) Bad night (5102)
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(815): View more from Illinois

i don't really know how much tequila is too much

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(815): i don't really know how much tequila is too much http://tfl.nu/p5o7

Replies (16) Good night (4525) Bad night (1776)
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(713): View more from Texas

He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.

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(713): He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5. http://tfl.nu/fdnd

Replies (8) Good night (2846) Bad night (864)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.

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(857): You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks. http://tfl.nu/io5n

Replies (10) Good night (3436) Bad night (959)
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(772): View more from Florida

it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night

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(772): it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night http://tfl.nu/3jc9

Replies (13) Good night (2539) Bad night (1969)
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(210): View more from Texas

A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.

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(210): A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day. http://tfl.nu/06c7

Replies (5) Good night (2856) Bad night (833)
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(631): View more from New York

he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him

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(631): he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him http://tfl.nu/2wji

Replies (15) Good night (2220) Bad night (1163)
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(315): View more from New York

There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.

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(315): There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate. http://tfl.nu/2ksi

Replies (7) Good night (1718) Bad night (501)
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(813): View more from Florida

Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day

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(813): Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day http://tfl.nu/x25b

Replies (4) Good night (390) Bad night (792)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.

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(740): I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck. http://tfl.nu/g6o5

Replies (7) Good night (850) Bad night (416)
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(309): View more from Illinois

There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

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(309): There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/encj

Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (441)

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