Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
MIDGETS
????
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
