lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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