it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
