I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
