the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
