He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
