i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
