Four minutes until I can fart!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
