Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
