my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
