You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
