I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
