We're like a lot better than the average bears
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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