Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize