I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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