I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
