you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
