You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
