It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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