and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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