I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
