He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
