i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
