The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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